The simple operational premise of the external control psychology the world uses is: Punish the people who are doing wrong, so they will do what we say is right; then reward them, so they will do what we say is right; then reward them, so they keep doing what we want them to do. This premise dominates the thinking of most people on earth. what makes this psychology so prevalent is that those who have the power-agents of government, parents, teaches, business managers, and religious leaders, who also define what’s right or wrong-totally support it. And the people they control, having so little control over their own their lives, find some security in accepting the control over their own lives, find some security in accepting the control of these powerful people. It is unfortunate that almost no one is aware that this controlling, coercing, or focusing psychology is creating the widespread misery that, as much as we have tried, we have not yet been able to reduce.

Once any external control belief is questioned, it becomes clear that what was right is actually wrong. For example, we do not answer a phone because it rings; we answer it because we want to. Instantaneous as our response may be, every time we answer a phone, we have decided that this is the best choice. If we didn’t think so, we wouldn’t answer it.

William Glasser, Choice Theory